“Adolescence” The Netflix Series is undoubtedly an amazing piece of drama – but what does it tell us as educators about boys becoming young men today and how can we respond?

A few days ago I put Netflix on, looking for something to divert me for a few hours.

Adolescence was advertised as a new release. I saw it had well-known and good actors in it, so I clicked to play. I didn’t know at that time that it was the first day of release – and didn’t know the media hype that would follow. I then watched all four episodes back to back – enthralled. Brilliant drama, great acting and unbelievable camera work. You’ll have read the press about it and whilst I’m no TV critic, if you haven’t watched it – I’d urge you to do so.

I’m not going to break down every episode – but there are some real key points that are raised for Education and how we manage them. And no – I’m not talking about the questionable school practices portrayed (don’t start me on the laziest attitude to a fire-drill that was depicted for example!).

The first thing that is key, is that whilst as DSLs we’ve been talking about topics such as incel culture, the “manosphere”, toxic masculinity, the rise of teen violence involving knives and the pervasiveness of internet content in children’s lives – these topics have not been discussed in the media nor understood by society at large.

This raises questions as to the limits of our role as schools and DSLs in particular.

How much communication do we have with parents about contextual safeguarding topics?

When we think of contextual safeguarding topics are we not only looking at physical contexts, but also the online activities that children are engaged in? Basic things such as signposting parents to information on how to put controls on their children’s devices, through to newsletters dedicated to these topics, or drop-in sessions to discuss concerns.

Some settings even hold online training sessions for parents –  for example to share the specifics of terminology to look out for and how certain symbols or emojis have a different meaning in some sub-communities than in general language.

What Role do Schools and DSLs play?

“To what degree is this a school’s responsibility?” is a question I sometimes get asked.

It is true that it takes time, money and expertise to offer this support sensitively and professionally. However, my take is that it is a significant part of our role to communicate intelligence we have about risk in children’s lives to those supporting a child – be that parents or other professionals.

We are a key part of the safeguarding team around a child. We are also often best-placed to really observe a child’s lived experience outside of the home, to observe changes and to over-hear conversations. We understand children and their challenges and we are trusted by parents. We are also used to breaking down tricky topics and teaching children.

It Could Happen to Anyone.

One of the other key things that has shocked many viewers is that this was a story about a seemingly pretty ordinary family. The often-shared narrative of the lived experience of a child being drawn in to this culture due to a challenging home life was not present – perhaps a single parent, no male role-model around, living in poverty – this is the picture often presumed of a child’s life.

This was a child in a loving family, with no elements of abuse, no family tensions that were more or less than many people will live with. The family were average – yet the story was tragic.

In schools we need to really work with our staff, to ensure there is an understanding that anyone can be enticed by what these toxic cultures portray – because it’s an insidious grooming process that often starts out seemingly innocently.

It is true that we train staff to look out for children with particular vulnerabilities to being put at risk of harm, but KCSIE 24 is also really clear that some children might be more susceptible to harm and this word susceptible makes us consider everything about that child.

Questions to consider:

• Who are the child’s peers?
• What are the hobbies, the topics of interest?
• Is the child left alone regularly and does the internet become company?
• Who in your setting is an expert on gaming? Let them lead some staff training sessions for example, as this can be a context where children are groomed.
• When did you refresh training on online safety with staff and did it include issues like sextortion for example?

If you don’t have the expertise in-house – then get it from trusted sources and remember the online world is ever-changing and child exploitation is ever more sophisticated so regular updates are crucial.

Lots of information we are all learning about the world of violent misogyny can be frightening – and whatever means we use to share our knowledge we need to balance information sharing with not fear-mongering.

Not every child who spends time online will be engaging in conversation with those with extreme views. The thing to talk about is that every child could, as we know that the internet has very few accurate and secure age-restrictions in place. We can’t presume it’s only a certain “type” of child.

Boys and Mental Health: Addressing the Growing Crisis

Incels, the red pill, and the manosphere – all fairly recent terms, but actually this has been growing for years. We used to call it sexism and male-chauvinism and women have been harmed and murdered by men since the dawn of time.

It’s why Violence Against Women and Girls has been on the government agenda for years. The difference now is that the information can be shared so quickly and geographically so far. The age of children being swayed into this belief is also lowering.

In fact there is a timely report, published this month by the Centre For Social Justice , called “Lost Boys” which states that boys in the UK are “struggling in education, more likely to take their own lives, less likely to get into stable work, and far more likely to be caught up in crime” than girls. It’s also a fact that young males are increasingly voting and signing-up online to more right-wing and “regressive” ideologies.

We need to look at what else is on offer – or not on offer – in our society for young men.

Yes, there are less youth groups than ever before. Yes, the cost of living crisis over recent years has led to social pursuits being less affordable than ever before. Yes, the internet also promotes people such as Andrew Tate as being “successful” in terms of money, partners, health. Yet not all young men are lured into this way of thinking about the world.

Our staff members can act as positive male role models in society. Our careers education can be up-to-date and so whilst some traditional manual roles don’t exist any more, others do – so we can teach young people to aspire to economic stability.

The Cultural Context: Understanding Toxic Masculinity and Online Influences

Our safeguarding in the curriculum needs to be relevant and robust. We need to talk about misogyny and yes, incel culture. We won’t drive children to seek it out – it’s already on their phones.

The thing to recognise – and teach children to recognise – is that the extreme sexist viewpoints usually aren’t what children are seeking out.

Instead they see content of memes, silly videos, maybe chat on a gaming site, health and fitness trends – all innocent enough. But when they’ve clicked on these, the algorithms set into motion, sending more content by the same and similar creators – who also have content of this more worrying nature. So a child clicks on that, the algorithm then sends more and this spirals downwards into extreme views about women and minority groups in society.

For some boys and young men with enough “in real life” activities and contact with others, they will be able to see that these extreme views are not common and that to effectively communicate in, and contribute to, society you cannot hold these viewpoints.  However, some young people don’t mix as much in circles with differing views and their so-called “friends” are found in these online spaces.

We need to understand and teach how misogyny has evolved – teach parents, teach our staff and teach children.

Some of the content in the press has it wrong. Many incels for example would laugh if someone linked them to Andrew Tate as to them he represents a “Chad”, that is a man who is sexually active with attractive women, a man who has money and power. We need to educate ourselves about the terminology and the practice.

We need to allow discussion – instead of shutting down any “alternative” views on women’s role in society, because if we never have the discussion, we never encourage children to share their views and to trust that we are interested in them as an individual.

Without trust, safeguarding is a much harder job.

That doesn’t mean we accept the toxic tales, but we listen and provide a different narrative – one that a child who gets their information online, with the algorithms at play sending more and more extremist and violent content their way on a daily basis, might not otherwise hear.

Curriculum Considerations: Navigating Misogyny, Consent, and Relationships

One final point on our curriculum. #MeToo made a really important point about misogyny in society and opened up a huge and welcomed discussion about what informed consent really is.

The problem is that without careful consideration, conversations can on occasion lead young males, about to embark upon their first intimate relationships, feel like they are being found already guilty of violent sexual assault towards women.

Vocal feminists have become more visible in society – which isn’t a bad thing given the generations of unspoken harm caused by males towards females – but some boys and young men may feel they cannot approach a women with romantic intent, worrying about missing out on unspoken social rules and being called out for being a sexist or an abuser.

Many males struggle to share their feelings for fear of being seen to be acting in an “unmanly” way, which may make the negative online voices louder. So, we need a careful approach to these topics in our curriculums.

Put a budget aside for high-quality RSHE teacher training and encourage staff to consider their language – throwing out terms like “toxic masculinity” can lead boys to feel blamed for something they haven’t done based on their sex alone, which in turn can lead them to look for male role models elsewhere, including online in dangerous forums.

If this piece has led you to consider the topic in more detail and you’d like further support, please contact us on [email protected] or search for www.servicesforeducation.co.uk/safeguarding/ to see what bespoke support we can offer.

About the Author

Jo Perrin - Interim School Support Lead,  Adviser, Services For Education

Jo Perrin is a seasoned Education Adviser with a strong background in safeguarding. She has held key roles as a Designated Safeguarding Lead and pastoral lead in the education sector. Facilitating training to enhance the knowledge and skills of professionals working directly with children and young people is her passion.

With a wealth of experience in teaching PSHE and expertise in childhood trauma from her time as a foster carer, Jo is dedicated to supporting organisations that work with children and vulnerable adults on safeguarding issues. She is actively involved in professional safeguarding groups in the West Midlands and is currently collaborating on a research project with colleagues from the University of Birmingham and the NHS focusing on FGM awareness within communities. Jo’s has worked as a West Midlands' Adviser for national PSHE resources, presented at the Sex Education Forum National Members' Event and authored an advertorial for PSM magazine and an article for SEND magazine.

Jo's expertise extends to training on topics such as Safer Recruitment and Mental Health at Work. She is also a facilitator for the nationally recognised NPQSL qualification, supporting senior leaders in education. Her contributions to publications and development of resources for RSE provision have been well-received by schools nationally and internationally.

With her extensive experience and dedication to professional development, Jo Perrin is a highly respected figure in the field of education. Her guidance on safeguarding, mental health awareness, personal development, and relationships education is highly valued within the industry.