In safeguarding circles we talk about many types of neglect that might impact a child’s lived experience. From the lack of that base layer of things noted in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, through medical neglect, affluent neglect, emotional neglect and many others. 

Over recent years, much research has been conducted nationally about the impact of these acts of omission on children and it is increasingly recognised by professionals.

However, sometimes this professional discussion doesn’t reach parents in a way that they can easily understand the consequences of their parenting style. One such issue is described by a phrase developed by Dr. David Elkind called “Hurried Child Syndrome”.   

So what is it? 

The essential notion is that if children are not allowed to just be children – to play, to create, to imagine, to chat – and instead they live a constant diary of appointments, extra-curricular activities and “educational opportunities” in the widest sense – then they are rushed to grow up, to experience pressures and demands that go beyond natural developmental stages. 

Whilst this is easiest to envisage for very young children, it equally applies to teenagers who are treated as “mini-adults” rather than children as they are legally. 

The media sometimes shows us extreme examples – the 7 year olds who get a maths GCSE Grade 9 for example – those accelerated academic studies, but equally it covers the child who has a different extracurricular activity every day of the week, and also could cover young carers who experience an overly-early exposure to adult issues. 

Social media has contributed to this in recent years and there is indirect pressure from “influencers” for children to look and act in more adult ways which makes children themselves feel they need to mature quickly. 

Why is it a problem? 

Some people might think this sounds a good idea – children maturing quickly, able to focus on widening their academic and social lives.

Unfortunately the risks really do outweigh any perceived benefits. Children who are pressured to be more mature than their chronological age may grow up to believe their value is measured by the “success” of their learning and feel life is a competition to achieve the best at all times. 

This leaves children with little time to “be a child” – to play, to relax, to sleep, to be creative: essentially to just grow naturally.   

There are reports showing serious consequences of this practice. Increased signs of depression and anxiety in children of all ages who are struggling to feel like they can give everything their full concentration and consequently feeling they are failing. 

Children might feel they are failing their parents if they don’t exceed at everything. Physically there can be consequences of this lifestyle too – a lack of routine around mealtimes and food, a lack of sleep causing health problems and if the extra-curricular activities are not based around physical activity there can be developmental and co-ordination problems caused too.

Emotionally constant competition can mean children struggle to form trusted relationships with peers and adults alike.  

What can we do to help? 

1: Train your staff to spot the signs through conversations with children and parents or carers. 

When they’ve noticed a concern, encourage them to use your safeguarding reporting system to register a concern. The harm might not be immediately obvious, but “hurried child syndrome” is a developmental concern. 

2: Communicate with parents – explain to them the importance of balancing structured activities with free time. 

This is essential for a child’s overall well-being and development and from an early age play helps children adapt to stress and supports their learning and social and emotional development. 

Play is an essential part of childhood, from birth up to age 18. If you work in the early years sector, share regularly with parents how free play develops crucial life-skills skills such as problem-solving and decision making.

Imaginative play allows children to think abstractly and develop their ability to understand complex concepts. Building blocks and drawing help children experiment in a low-stakes environment helping them to be curious and want to learn and try new things. 

As children grow and get involved in team sports these help build-up social skills and friendships and teamwork. Free time, when the child chooses the activity, provides children with a safe-space to express their feelings and cope with emotions.

Perhaps you might develop a parent and child session to demonstrate how to support a child in free-play, keeping a child safe without intervening too much to stifle the child’s independence and growth.   

3: Advertise ideas of growth mindset

Demonstrate that in your setting you value perseverance rather than being “the best” all the time.

Displays, newsletters and assemblies can reinforce this style of support. Teach children that it’s ok to discuss their emotions and ask for understanding and support – if they are tired, it’s ok to say so, if they don’t enjoy an activity even if they are seen as “good at it”, it’s ok to change their mind about their preferences.

Encourage the child’s voice to be heard and valued in and outside of your setting. 

So, is it neglectful? 

Given the harms that can be caused, physically and emotionally, the answer is clearly yes.

It is an act of omission to not ensure that a child has the capacity to “be a child” – to play, to rest, to sleep, to enjoy their life. 

As professionals, once we are aware of an issue, it is part of our duty and our Early Help offer to support families where any form of neglect is identified. 

As such the simple strategies in this blog are essential to incorporate into your communications with parents and carers. 

About the Author

Jo Perrin - Adviser, Services For Education

Jo Perrin is a seasoned Education Adviser with a strong background in safeguarding. She has held key roles as a Designated Safeguarding Lead and pastoral lead in the education sector. Facilitating training to enhance the knowledge and skills of professionals working directly with children and young people is her passion.

With a wealth of experience in teaching PSHE and expertise in childhood trauma from her time as a foster carer, Jo is dedicated to supporting organisations that work with children and vulnerable adults on safeguarding issues. She is actively involved in professional safeguarding groups in the West Midlands and is currently collaborating on a research project with colleagues from the University of Birmingham and the NHS focusing on FGM awareness within communities. Jo’s has worked as a West Midlands' Adviser for national PSHE resources, presented at the Sex Education Forum National Members' Event and authored an advertorial for PSM magazine and an article for SEND magazine.

Jo's expertise extends to training on topics such as Safer Recruitment and Mental Health at Work. She is also a facilitator for the nationally recognised NPQSL qualification, supporting senior leaders in education. Her contributions to publications and development of resources for RSE provision have been well-received by schools nationally and internationally.

With her extensive experience and dedication to professional development, Jo Perrin is a highly respected figure in the field of education. Her guidance on safeguarding, mental health awareness, personal development, and relationships education is highly valued within the industry.